Boston
by MarlyCook
Summary: Post season 7. Rory has graduated Yale and is not happy with her life. So she leaves and goes to an old love. But has he moved on? Lit or is it?
1. Boston

**Disclaimer: Okay… I own the storyline, and that is it.**

**A/N: Okay just a story I wanted to get out so I wouldn't forget it. Hope you like it**

**A/N 2: Okay this is what you NEED to know!!**

**Jess lives in Boston, not Philadelphia.**

**Rory graduated Yale and is living with Logan in California because of his job. She is away from her family and friends.**

**GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG**

The thunder booms through the dark house as she sits in her bathtub. Alone in her bathtub, like she is every night. With bubbles up to her neck and her wine glass half full. She sets her wine glass down and runs her hands through her dark hair and over her tear-stained face. Unplugging the drain with her foot, she looks around. The only source of light is coming from three scented candles and the sudden flashes of lightning.

_In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...  
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,  
This world you must've crossed...you said..._

You don't know me, you don't even care,  
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

Rory steps out of the tub and wraps up in a towel. She waits for her husband to walk through the door with the smell of liquor, cigarette smoke, cheap perfume, and his cologne that is smothered by other foreign scents. While she's dressing she thinks about her life. She isn't who she used to be or who she wants to be. She has a Yale degree and could be a big time journalist, but she isn't. The life she was "forced" to choose isn't the life she wants. A trophy wife, a doormat, barely talks to her mother, always depressed, and doesn't even love husband anymore. Rory's always alone and desperately wants a family… just not with him.

When she gets into her vacant bed and settles in her mind wonders to the last time she was happy. A year ago at Christmas when Logan couldn't make it down to Stars Hollow and it was just her and her family.

_Jess._

The name haunted her mind. He was so grown up and happy, he even wrote another book. He lived in Boston now trying to make it on his own without help from anyone. When Luke sent him checks or something he would refuse and send it back. She smiled at his stubbornness when her mother told her this. Even though he was different he was still the same.

The slamming of a door echoes the house and Rory snaps out of her daydream. She stays where she is until she hears the sound of Logan's drunken voice booming through the house, "Rory!"

Rory walks into the living room and forces a half smile, "Where have you been?"

"Out" He says as he wraps his arms around her waist.

_Out. _It is the common response from him. She's gotten so used to it, "You're home earlier than usual."

Kissing her, he nods. She responds to the kiss almost too eagerly. It's really not that she wants to kiss him she just wants to be wanted, again. Once she smells the familiar scents she pushes away. He looks past it and unwraps his arms, "I'm going to shower." He says as he walks past her and into the bathroom.

The next morning Rory woke up and felt the left side of her bed. Cold wrinkled sheets. Her bed was the perfect way to describe her heart 'Half full'. Logan wasn't meant for her… maybe she deserved better. Or maybe… he did. He didn't know the real Rory. He knew the one she turned into.

_Essential and appealed, Carries all your thoughts across  
An open field,  
When flowers gaze at you...they're not the only ones who cry  
when they see you  
you said..._

You don't know me, you don't even care,  
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains... 

Sitting on the counter with a bottle of Vodka in one hand and the other laying on the play button of the answering machine, Rory let her tears fall. She wasn't supposed to be like this. She looked down upon and pitied the girls who let their spouses treat them like this. She played the message over and over hoping the words would change.

"_Logan, listen, you left your watch over here. I know you said not to call your house, but you wouldn't answer your cell. See you tonight, sweetie. The hotel room is amazing! Love you! Bye!"_

The high-pitched girly voice filled the kitchen. Rory rewound and played it again and again and again…

Logan walks into the kitchen not even acknowledging her sitting their crying her eyes out. She plays the message, and he turns to face her, "Rory… that's not what you think."

"How long has it been going on?" Rory demanded through puffy eyes.

"I.. Rory… just listen to me." Logan stepped closer and reached out to her.

She slapped his hand away and scooted off the counter, "I'm leaving."

Logan followed her to the bedroom, "Where are you going?!"

_Boston. _It came to her mind like a quick flash of lightning, "Somewhere I belong."

Logan grabs her arm and pulls her back, "Rory! Don't you leave me!"

Rory shoves his hand off of her arm, "Don't touch me." Her old self was coming back. The old Rory that didn't let anyone push her around. The one that was independent and strong. She pulled out a suitcase and started throwing in clothes and things she needed.

"You need me Rory. You can't survive without me. We belong together. I make you something." He leaned against the wall beside the bed, watching her pack.

"No, Logan! I do not need you! I never have.. you turned me into something I didn't want to become! This isn't the real me! I don't let people push me around… and I am sick and tired of living with you. I do not love you. You are an arrogant, self-absorbed, boy. You don't even have the right to be called a man."

His hand came in contact with her face so hard that she stumbled back a little. She looked at him with angry eyes and held the spot on her face. Blinking back her tears, she shoved past him and zipped up the suitcase. Then she walked out, slamming the door in the process.

_She said I think I'll go to Boston...  
I think I'll start a new life,  
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,  
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather…_

She was speeding down the road with only a suitcase. This is where she wants to go. Where she wants to be. This is her destiny. She should've listened to Jess earlier when he said he wanted to be with her. She should've taken the chance and been with him. She was tired of being treated like some kind of helpless woman. Rory needed a change.

So she drove to Boston. She opened the glove compartment and got out a piece of yellow worn out paper that had Jess' address on it. She smiled a little and drove faster not caring who stopped her because she felt free.

_I think I'll get a lover and fly them out to Spain...  
I think I'll go to Boston,  
I think that I'm just tired  
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind..._

Finally after a day or more of driving she pulled into an apartment complex. When she got out of the car she looked to the right and saw that the sun still hasn't rose. She started walking despite the time. Hopefully Jess will be awake. He always stayed up really late watching dateline specials or reruns of Friends. Or at least he used to. Maybe she didn't know him anymore. Maybe she should just turn around a go home.

Before she knew it she had knocked on the door. And Jess had swung it open looking a little tired.

Jess took in who was in front of him. His first instinct was to pull her to him and kiss her or hug her so tightly that it made her just fall into his arms. Instead he stuttered out the word he had been longing for, for too long, "Rory?"

_I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,  
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...  
Boston...where no one knows my name..._

She didn't speak; she just took his appearance in. She wanted to be enclosed in the strong arms that lay limp at his sides. He was staring at her red mark on the right side of her face. It was throbbing and him looking at it made her ashamed, "Rory… what are you doing here?" His voice sounded kind and comforting.

She looked down and pushed the hair behind her ear then looked back up at him, "I wa-"

She was cut off by a girl's voice coming from behind her, "Jess, I think I am going to leave, now, okay?"

Rory just stood there; her heart was pounding so hard against her chest. It was almost as if it was going to burst out any second. She shook her head as she looked past him and to the petite blonde woman buttoning up her shirt. She wanted to cry. She throat was closing up and she felt like she couldn't breath.

Jess looked behind his shoulder and nodded to her, "Okay… drive safe." He looked back at Rory whose face was turning scarlet. The girl walked up to the door and kissed Jess' cheek as she walked out and past Rory. Apparently not caring who she was or why she was here.

Rory hit her hand to her forehead, "I'm so stupid." She mumbled.

Jess tried to look in her eyes, "What? Rory… what's going on?"

"I should have known you had a girlfriend. Of course you do, I mean I didn't expect you to pine over me for forever. I came out here expecting… you know what? Never mind. I'm sorry Jess, I'll just go."

Jess stopped her from turning around, "Rory… stop. It's okay just come in. Do you need to stay here for the night?" He opened the door a little wider.

"No, I can't. Jess you have a girlfriend. And I-"

Jess cut her off, "Rory. Don't worry about her, okay? I'm not. Right now I am worried about you. What happened to your face? Who did that?" He touched her cheek and she felt a trail of fire as he let it linger for a minute.

"Logan." Rory muttered under her breath.

Jess pulled her into him for a hug and closed the door behind her, "You can sleep in my room." He kissed the top of her head as a comfort sign. She looked so scared. So helpless. This wasn't the Rory he knew

_Boston… where no one knows my name…_

**Well? You love it? You hate it? I should continue… I shouldn't? What is the verdict?**

**The song is not owned by me. The song is "Boston" by Augustana. And I own nothing in this story except for Jess' girlfriend.**


	2. Iris

**Disclaimer: I only on Jess' girlfriend in this story and the plot line. Everything else is just something I wish I owned. I also do not own the song lyrics I used for the story. The song is "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls.**

**A/N: I got wonderful reviews so I decided to update quicker. The more I get the faster a chapter goes up. I'm really sorry I haven't been updating my other stories but I get writer's block so easily. Thank you for reviewing! Here is your next chapter!!**

Rory lay awake in an unfamiliar bed, in the left corner of an unfamiliar room, at the end of the hall in an unfamiliar apartment. She didn't feel comfortable sleeping in a bed that had obviously just held two people who weren't her. It had been an hour since she had laid down on the soft mattress. She wanted to go to sleep but her body wouldn't let her. She flipped one way and flopped the other. It was a never ending battle. She finally stood up and walked into the living room.

There he was. He looked so peaceful and adorable laying there on the couch. Asleep. One arm draped over his eyes and the other hanging off of the couch and barely touching the wooden, polished floors. A book was opened and laying across his chest. She hadn't read a book in a long time. She wanted desperately to pick it up and smell it. Yes, smell it. She needed to be reconnected with her self. Her real self. Not the fake person she has turned into.

She wanted to touch him. Wrap her arms around him and holds on tight. Rory missed his smell, his touch, and even his taste. The way he made her feel like she was the only girl he could ever love. His books were dedicated to her. That had to mean something, right? She liked being here. It made her feel home. Even though she was miles away from home. This felt like where she needed to be. And she didn't want to go back.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't wanna go home right now_

He stirred a bit when she pushed on his arm, "Jess?"

Moving his arm, he looked up at her with tired eyes, "Hey Ror… can't sleep?"

Rory shakes her head and looks down at her bare feet. She sees him from the corner of her eye getting off of the couch. He put his hand on her shoulder and tried to get a good look at her face. She looked up at him with big doe eyes, "Can you stay with me?"

He raised his eyebrows, obviously surprised after her question. He doesn't trust his voice right now so he just nods. She turns around to walk back to the room. He follows her, with his hand on the small of her back as a sign of support. When they got to their destination she got back into the bed. When she felt him lay beside her she smiled. It didn't feel like the same smiles she had usually put on. It seemed real.

She turned to face him and just stared. She looked so scared. It scared him. Rory's blue eyes reflected pain, innocence, and tiredness. He looked at her with a confused face. They were so close. He reached out his hand and touched the swollen red spot on her cheek.

Rory closed her eyes feeling comfort and for the first time she felt like she was wanted. She moved forward and buried her head in his chest. She breathed in heavily trying to take in the moment.

Without hesitation he wrapped an arm around her pulling her forward and kissing the crown of her head.

_And all I could taste is this moment  
And all I can breath is your life  
And sooner or later it's over  
I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

They fell asleep like that and the next morning when Rory woke he wasn't there. She stood up and tip-toed across the room. She heard voices so she stopped and pressed her ear against the door trying to hear what was said.

"Who is in your bed, Jess?!" It was a girl's voice. The same girl that she heard last night.

"Shh… dang it, Heather. You're going to wake her up." Jess whispered, harshly.

"Who cares?! Dang it! Who is she?!" The girl, whose name was apparently Heather, practically screamed.

She heard Jess sigh heavily, "That's Rory."

"The Rory? The one that you were so much in love with that you couldn't date me the first year I knew you? That Rory?" She sounded irritated. Rory felt like she was intruding. Last night was so perfect. She was exactly where she wanted to be. Now reality would come back and mess up everything.

"Yes. Okay? Yes, that Rory." Jess slammed his hand on the counter, "Heather, she needed me last night! She was weak!"

"Why you, huh? Why couldn't she get her mom or her friends? When was the last time she ever even saw you?" The girl sounded so much like her on the nights Logan would get caught with some hussy he picked up at a bar.

"That doesn't even matter. It's a fact, Heather. When Rory needs me I am there. No questions asked." He was fed-up. Rory could hear it in his voice.

"One question, Jess. Do you still love her?" Her voice was calmer than it was 5 seconds ago.

There was silence. Then the slam of a door. Rory walked back over to the bed and sat at the edge of it. When Jess came in, "Yelling woke you up?"

Rory shrugged, "Yeah. But it's no big deal. I'm used to it."

Jess kneeled down in front of her, "Rory?"

She didn't look up at him. She stared at her hands that were in the shape of a fist holding the covers, tightly.

"Rory?" This time his voice wasn't as soft. It was more demanding, but still full of worry.

Rory looked up, finally, with puffy eyes, the tears were falling freely, "Everything is so…" she trailed off looking up in his eyes.

"Wrong?" He questioned squeezing her knee a little.

Rory nods, "Yeah…"

Jess sat beside her on the bed, "Why is it like this Rory? Who are you? You're so different."

Rory cries harder now, "I don't know. That's why I am here. I am not who I used to be and I hate it."

_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

Her finger traced the rim of the coffee mug and she was staring into the dark liquid. He watched her leaning against the counter, "You going to drink it?"

Rory snapped out of whatever daze she was in and looked up at him, "Uh… yeah." She took a sip and closed her eyes, "Oh man that is so good."

Jess smiled a little, "Bad coffee in California?"

Rory shook her head, "No, I just haven't drank coffee in a long time."

Jess furrowed his brow, "Like in a couple of days?"

She looked back down at her cup and shook her head, "In two years."

"Rory… why have you changed so much?" He went out on a limb and asked her. He was kind of afraid to, worried that she'd break down into tears like she did earlier.

"Logan." The statement said it all, but she wanted to add more, "He ruined me."

"Why did you let him?" Jess pushed himself off of the counter and walked to her.

"I'm not strong enough to say no, anymore." She took another large gulp of her coffee.

He didn't say anymore. He didn't like all the answers he was getting. They upset him more than you could imagine.

"I had to go to a shrink." She confessed out of no where. He cringed and looked down at the tile floor.

"Why?" It came out in a hoarse tone that he wasn't used to.

"I used to cut myself. To ease the pain. I liked the feeling of having something that I can control for once. But unfortunately I couldn't control it. So Logan's sister made me see a shrink. It was a private shrink, because Logan couldn't handle that getting into the open. He had a name to protect. So the shrink made house calls." She took one last sip of her coffee and looked up at him.

His eyes looked pained. He shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair, "Rory… Why would y-"

Rory cut him off, "Please do not finish that sentence."

He just nods and looks at her mug, "You want another cup?"

She pushes the mug towards him, "Yes, please."

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_

Rory walked out of the bathroom after showering and sat beside him on the couch, "Who is that girl?"

Jess didn't look up from his notebook, "What girl?" He sounded slightly distracted.

Rory watched him write, "The blonde girl who was here this morning… and last night."

"Heather." He kept writing until he felt her eyes burning into him. He set down the pen and looked up at her, "My girlfriend. Or… ex-girlfriend. I don't really know right now because of the argument this morning." He smiled a little and put a strand of wet hair behind her ear.

She looked down, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "For what? You didn't do anything."

"I was the cause of the fight, right? I mean… I shouldn't have come here and messed with your life."

"Hey, don't talk like that. You know I love when we get to spend time together. Of course I wish it was under different circumstances, but I'm glad you came to me."

Rory nodded. She couldn't say anything. She really had nothing to say.

"But Rory, why didn't you go to your mom or Lane?"

"I don't want them to see me like this. I… I just… I knew you wouldn't judge me or say 'I told you so'. I mean, I love them to death, but they… they wouldn't like the way I turned out." She looked down at her hands.

_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

Jess nodded and pulled her to him. Rory settled into his arms and laid her head on his shoulder, "I really am glad you came to me, Rory."

Rory wrapped her arms around him and nodded, "So am I."

_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

She fell asleep in his lap and he just watched her steady breathing. He didn't know how long she was going to be here, but he was glad she was. He took her hand and enclosed it between his two large hands.

_I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am_


	3. Collide

**Disclaimer: I own Heather and a few co-workers of Jess. That is all. I wish I owned the show, however I do not. I also do not own the lyrics to the song I chose which is "Collide" by Howie Day**

**A/N: I got this chapter up as fast as I could. So sorry for the wait! **

There was a line of light running down Rory's face. She turned to get it out of her eyes in her sleep. Jess watched her smiling a little as she ducked her head down. She looked so peaceful in her slumber. He couldn't wake her up, even though Heather would probably be here soon. When he turned to look at the clock he saw it was 7:02. She sleeps like a rock. Rory slept from when Jess picked her up off the couch to when he laid her in his bed. She slept through him tripping over the dresser trying to get on more comfortable clothes and she slept through the racket he made as he stumbled into bed.

Jess turned to look back at Rory and her eyes were fluttering open as she looked around trying to remember where she was. He froze and just stared at her. Rory fixed her sleepy gaze on him and smiled slightly. He was taken. Rory could do anything to him in just one look. It was pretty amazing. He stared at her with a solemn expression on his face. Not even a hint of a cocky smirk.

_The dawn is breaking_

_A light shining through_

_You're barely waking_

_And I'm tangled up in you_

_Yeah_

A knock on the door pulls Jess out of his book. He walks over and swings it open, "Hey Heather."

"Hey. Can I come in? Or is she still here?" Heather's tone wasn't pleasant, nor was it icy-cold. But he could tell she wasn't happy with this situation.

He looked down at his feet, "She's still here, but that doesn't mean you can't come in."

Shrugging her shoulders, she takes a deep breath, "Where is she?"

Jess glanced back into his bedroom, 'She fell back asleep about an hour ago."

"I want to meet her." Heather crossed her arms over her chest and Jess had to squint.

Her watch hit the light and blinded him, so turning his head, he nodded, "Sure. Come on in…" He opened the door wider and as she stepped in she cupped his face and kissed him. He kissed her back with an odd feeling of guilt.

When she stepped away she smiled slightly at him, "So… I'm guessing you have to cancel dinner tonight?"

Jess closed the door behind her. He had totally forgotten about the diner. Today was their two month anniversary, apparently. He only kept up with that sort of thing when he was with Rory. He shook his head, "Nah… I can make it. Rory might even be gone. Who knows with her? If she isn't then she can entertain herself with books. She's good like that. She can just find the simplest thing and let it amuse her for hours on end." When he realized he was rambling about another woman who he deeply cared for, in front of his girlfriend, he stopped.

Standing behind the closed door in the bedroom was Rory. She was about to open up when she heard a girl's voice. Heather. She stopped and just listened at the door. Silently, she twisted the knob and pushed the door open. She looked down at what she was wearing. Jess' shirt hung loosely on her, but her pajama pants were snug around her waist.

"Hey Ror." Jess smiled as he saw her walk out. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was hanging around her face. Blue eyes were wide, but not really bright. They were grey. They have been like that for some time now and he desperately wants to see her smile again.

Rory nods to him and turns to focus her attention on the pretty blonde. She looked down again when she saw how beautiful and fresh the girl looked. Her green eyes were big and full of life and her blonde hair was bobbed off at her neck, having a curl to it. It made Rory cringe; she used to look beautiful at one time, too. Her hand came up to her cheek and rested on the bruise that was appearing. Then her eyes rested on her clothes. Panty-hose, Black skirt, red pin-stripe blouse, and a black blazer. She looked nice and her legs were gorgeous. Her figure was one of a model. Her eyes finally made their way to the floor, where she wished they would have stayed the whole time.

Heather looks back at where Jess was looking, "Hi." A smile played on her lips. Not a very warm smile, but at least it was a smile.

Pulling her hair behind her ears, Rory looks up a little, "Hi." She manages it out in a weak whisper. Her voice was softer than yesterday and still… no smile.

_I'm open, you're closed_

_Where I follow, you'll go_

_I worry I won't see your face_

_Light up again_

"I'm sorry. Heather, this is Rory Gilmore. Rory this is-"

"Huntzberger." Rory cut him off, harshly, "Rory Huntzberger."

He looked at her with a fog in his eyes, and then spat out, "Rory Huntzberger. And this is Heather Lassie."

"As in the heroic Collie?" Rory glared back at Jess.

He shook his head and turned to Heather, "I'm sorry… she hasn't been feeling like herself, lately."

Heather nodded and pulled her coat closer, "Well, I guess I'll see you, tonight."

Jess looked back to Rory, and then to her once again, "Yeah. See you tonight."

She leaned in and kissed him and when she pulled away Jess lengthened it. Heather, surprised just let her hands fall to her side. Jess pulled away and looked and glanced at Rory. Then he looked back at Heather, "Bye."

"Bye." She smiled smugly at Rory, and then sweetly to Jess. Watching her walk out the door, Rory was shaking her head at him.

When the door was closed he turned to her, his eyes full of anger, "What the hell was that?!"

"What?!" She snapped back at him.

He was trying to get his breathing back to normal speed, "You know what! First off you called yourself Rory Huntzberger. You ran away from the marriage, Rory! You want a better life for yourself! I'm sorry that I didn't wait for you like a lost puppy dog, but I have a life to tend to. And you can't be angry that I have a girlfriend! You can't… you can't… you can't." Jess sat down on the sofa putting his head in his hands.

"You're right." Her voice was soft as she sat beside him on the couch, "I'm sorry, I'm not perfect, Jess. I make mistakes. I mean… even I can mess up and have an angry streak. A jealous streak." She confessed, "You need to go get ready for your date tonight." She patted his knee, "And don't you worry about me. I'll be fine. Have fun." She stood up and went to the bedroom.

Jess watched her go and sighed to himself. Once Rory got into the bedroom she closed the door and slid down, the tears streamed down her face.

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_

_Out of the doubt that fills my mind_

_I somehow find, you and I_

_Collide_

Jess stood in his bathroom putting the finishing touches on his hair. He turned off the light and threw on his jacket. When he walked out into the living room he saw Rory eating a tub of ice cream and watching the only 'I love the 80's.'

She looks up at him and smiles, "You look nice."

Jess smirks and walks over to her. She puts the ice cream down and stands up. Her hands start to reach for his hair.

"What are you doing?" He backs up; when it comes to his hair he is very territorial.

She rolls her eyes and reaches for his hair again. She starts to fix it and she steps back, "There… I had to fix it."

Shaking his head, he looks up into her eyes, "Thank you."

She looks up, "You're welcome." Their eyes meet and they linger there for a while. She is the first to break eye contact. Of course, that's how it always is, "Uh…" she starts, yet doesn't finish.

"Yeah… I better get going… I don't want to be late." He smiles and turns to walk out the door, "Will you be okay?" He asks once the door is open and he is halfway out.

"Yeah… I'll be fine." She smiles and shrugs her shoulders.

He walks out and closes the door gently behind him.

_I'm quiet you know_

_You make the first impression_

Jess sits down in front of Heather and smiles, "Hey… sorry I'm late."

She shrugs, "It's no big deal… you're only a few minutes late, anyway."

He looks down at the drink in front of him, "You ordered for me?" It wasn't the drink he wanted, of course, but he took a sip anyway.

"Yeah…" Heather looks down at the table.

A waitress comes up, "Would you like me to take your order, now?"

Heather nods and orders a seafood platter. When the waitress turns to Jess he seemed in another world. He was staring at Heather and she blushed, "Jess… it's your turn to order."

He was looking at Heather, yeah, but not for the reason she thought. He was comparing how different she and Rory were. He snapped out of it, "Sorry…" He gave the woman his order and looked at his watch.

_I found I'm scared to know _

_I'm always on your mind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the stars refuse to shine_

_Out of the back you fall in time_

_I somehow find, you and I_

_Collide_

Throughout the whole dinner they barely spoke. He gave her a gift, because apparently it is mandatory in this kind of situation. They talked about things that weren't really important, and for some reason he kept looking at his watch. He wanted to get back to Rory. It might be harsh, but it was where he wanted to be. He knows they made mistakes, but he wanted to patch things up… he had to. He looked at the girl in front of him and suddenly felt guilt.

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_

_Out of the doubt that fills your mind_

_I somehow find, you and I _

_Collide_

Heather sighs, "Jess are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah… I'm fine." He puts his napkin on the table and pays the bill, "You ready to go?"

Heather nods and starts to stand up, but sits back down, "Jess, wait. I have to tell you something."

He sits down, a little warily, "Yeah?"

She takes a deep breath, "I think… no… I know… I… well… I love you."

He just stares at her. Rory flashes in his mind.

_"I think... I think I may have loved you... but... I just need to let it go."_

_You finally find_

_You and I_

_Collide_

_You finally find_

_You and I_

_Collide_


	4. Say Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I own Heather and a few co-workers of Jess. That is all. I wish I owned the show, however I do not. I also do not own the lyrics to the song I chose which is "Say Goodbye" by Ashlee Simpson.**

**A/N: I got this chapter up as fast as I could. So sorry for the wait!**

"Jess?" Heather leaned forward on the table, "Jess?"

"Wh- sorry." He shook his head and looked at her, "You… what?"

"Don't make me repeat it." She looked down at her hands and Jess suddenly felt so bad for her. There she was going out on a limb and telling him that she loved him and all he could think about was Rory.

"I'm sorry, Heather… I… it's just so sudden. I mean we have only been together for two months…" Jess drifted off trying to find the right words that would let her down easily.

"I get it, Jess, you don't love me." She looked disappointed and Jess couldn't stand the look on her face.

"I'm not done. It's not just that I don't love you, Heather. It's that…" He stopped when he realized what he really felt, "I love her." He said, mostly to himself.

"Who?" Heather stopped and nodded, "Ah… Rory, right?"

"I'm sorry, Heather, I really am. She's always going to be the one that stops me from loving anyone else. We have a past, you know? I can't let love like that just go." He got up and took one last look at her, "Want me to drive you home?"

"No, I can take a cab. We came up here in a cab."

"I'll go back with you."

"No, Jess." She sighed sounding almost annoyed, "Go get her before she leaves."

Jess smiled a smile that she never got to see before, "Thank you." He kissed her on the cheek, and then walked out of the restaurant, quickly.

Heather watched him leave her.

The cab ride back to his apartment seemed to have lasted for forever. He wanted to get there before she was gone or sleeping. When the cab stopped in front of the building he got out, threw some money at him and ran inside. He finally got to his door and unlocked it, "Rory?" He called throughout the apartment, "Ror?"

Rory came out in some of his boxers and one of his button up Polo shirts, brushing out her hair, "Hey… date didn't go good? Figured you'd bring her back here and do the deed." She giggled and threw herself on the couch. She seemed so much happier than she was when she had first arrived there.

"Nah… date didn't go as planned." He smiled at her, softly and took a seat on the couch.

"Aw, sorry. Well if it will make things better, I have good news."

"What?" Jess turned his whole body to her and smiled, "Spill."

"I've decided that I messed up your life and I am going to move out. Back to Stars Hollow."

"No, Rory, it's okay… I want you here."

Rory laughed and got up off the couch, "Its fine, Jess, you don't have to lie… I know that you want your life to go back to normal and I want the same thing."

Jess got up and followed her to his bedroom, with a serious expression, "I'm serious, Rory, stay with me. We can be together. I want to be with you… Heather and I are over and I want to be with you. It's what I've wanted for a long time, now, and I know you want it to… I know it."

The speech sounded so familiar, she just stared at him with a blank expression. She didn't see this coming, but hadn't she hoped for it? He wasn't there before. He broke her heart. He left her lonely without a goodbye. She needed him and he was across the United States, but he's here now, right?

**You don't know me  
Like you knew me  
You stopped listening  
The moment that I needed you the most**

"You… you can't say that."

"But it's true, Rory. I can't stop thinking about you. I dreamed about you almost every night since we were 17. And when you showed up on my doorstep a few days ago I was back in that leather jacket wishing you were mine. I'm sorry I sprung this on you, but I can't let you slip away, again." Jess walked closer to her, taking her hand in his, "Please just give me another chance. I never got a second chance…"

"I've changed, Jess, I'm not the same girl you loved. I'm different, you see me in a different way."

"No. You are still the same Rory, we just have to bring you back to your roots. Come on, I'm ready for this."

"You can't just change me back. A lot of damage was done, Jess."

"I can do it. I promise I can do it."

**You can't see me  
Like you saw me  
Truth comes easy  
But it's hard for you to pull me from the ground**

Rory just looked at him, shaking her head, "Jess… Heather…" She tried to find the words. Tried to find some type of argument so she wouldn't have to give in, but he wouldn't let her.

"No, Rory, no trying to get out of this I mean it. I want to be with you and I know you want to be with me, too!" Jess puts his hands on her shoulder, "Look at me."

"We can't do this, Jess… we can't."

"I don't see you stopping me." He said leaning forward to kiss her.

She backed away and shook her head, "I don't want to be hurt by you! You'll just leave again!"

Jess looked at her with hurt eyes, "I won't leave." He said, softly.

"Liar." She stated, trying to run away from what she was feeling.

**So I scream, scream cause it hurts  
Your every word  
Cuts me inside and leaves me worse**

"Stop going back to the past, Rory! I was young then! You can't go back into the past to try and run away from your future!"

He was making sense and she hated it. She was trying to bring up problems from there past because she was too scared of a future. She didn't want to love again or trust again because every time she did with anyone she ended up hurt.

"We're the same people, Jess. The same people we always were. We are always going to hurt each other and that is just how it's always going to be."

"So what? We'll fight, we'll make up, and we'll live happily ever after." Jess sighed and stepped close to her again, "We both want it."

Rory shook her head, "Jess…"

**There's no way back  
And what if there was  
You'd still be you and  
I'd still need to say goodbye**

"Rory… Just hear me out, okay?"

Rory nodded, "Okay." She breathed out.

"Heather told me she loved me and the only thing that came to my mind was you. I couldn't love her… I realized that and I let her down easy. I explained to her that no matter what… I will always love you. I am in love with you so please do not walk out that door and pretend you don't feel the same way when we both know that you do." He was pleading, he never pleaded with any other girl, but her.

"Jess… you can't possibly still love me." She shook her head, "You can't."

"Yes I can. Stop making this so damn difficult! Rory you have no idea what you do to me… you come in here after not seeing me for years and I am ready to drop my life for you again."

She had never heard him say so much before. Rory bit her lip and looked down at her hands, "What do you want me to say?" She asked, quietly, "You can't handle me and all of the extra baggage I carry. I am so messed up, Jess. I'm too ruined to be in a relationship with someone who deserves so much better. Someone who believes in love and doesn't have to be taught to believe again."

**Maybe you don't  
Love me  
Like I love you baby  
Cause the broken in you doesn't make me run**

"So what? Are you going to go back to that dick who caused you pain and live a miserable life?" Jess spat out at her with a tiny bit of hope in his voice.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Jess." She sighed and closed her eyes tightly, trying to hold back the tears that were struggling to find there way out of her eyes, "I did love you, Jess. Long ago and I might still love you now, but I can't see it. I'm too scared to try and see it. Being with you scares me because it makes me feel like I am 17 again. The town princess who went on the bad side and dated the town hoodlum. But it was more than that between us, wasn't it? You weren't just a phase like everyone said. I thought you were going to be the one, but you left. You left and I'm scared to let you hurt me again. I'm scared you'll leave me again." She said the last part quietly.

"But I won't. Just trust me."

**There is beauty  
In the dark side  
I'm not frightened  
Without it I could never feel the sun**

"I can't." She said in a harsh whisper and took the little bag she had brought out from under the bed. She started throwing some of her clothes in it as Jess watched from the doorway.

He couldn't say anything to stop her, this time. This was her choice. He had to let her go. Jess mentally wanted to kick his own ass for being so stupid. He shouldn't have let it all out like that. He should have just told her that they were good as friends. Why did he have to open his big mouth? "So I guess I was right, huh?" He said in a low rumble that made her shiver.

"About what?" She sniffed and her voice cracked.

"It is what it is." He turned on his heel and walked back into the tiny space he called his living room.

She collapsed on the bed and brought her hands to her face, holding her head up. The things he did to _her._

**So I scream, scream cause it hurts  
Your every word  
Cuts me inside and leaves me worse  
There's no way back  
And what if there was  
You'd still be you and  
I'd still need to say goodbye  
**

Jess sat on the stool and watched the clock in front of him. It had been at least 45 minutes and he hadn't heard a peep out of her. She walked out of the bedroom and you could barely hear the pad of her shoes walking along the wooden floors.

She stopped when she got about two feet away from him. He turned on the stool and faced her with a challenging, yet hurtful look in his eye.

"You're right. We are what we are. That can mean good things and that can mean bad, but for us it is a mixture. I know you will always be there for me Jess, but I also know that you will not wait for me for forever. You need to live you life and I respect that, but you and I together? Come on, Jess. It wouldn't work. I want it to, really I do, but it won't." She walked closer and laid a hand on top of his.

"Why can't it?" He finally managed to choke out, "We were never over, Rory. We never had closure, but I want it. If you think this is the end of us, for sure this time… then tell me. So I can live in peace and not think of what might have been."

She sighed, heavily, "No matter how hard we want this, Jess… it's almost impossible."

"I know." Jess nodded, unhappy with the way this is going, "I get it."

**Nothing will ever change no matter what you say  
I'm still gonna be the same  
The harder we try, the harder that we fight, can't get it right  
**

Rory bit the inside of her cheek and blinked back the tears that stung her eyes, refusing to shed a tear, "I'm sorry…" She whispered.

His chest was aching and he felt a lump come up in his throat, "Please Rory… just go. You're killing me."

She nodded and started towards the door, "You'll find someone, Jess… I just need time to figure this out."

He watched her walk to the couch and grab a shirt that she wore every night. She stuffed it in her bag.

**So I scream, scream cause it hurts  
Your every word  
Cuts me inside and leaves me worse  
There's no way back  
And what if there was  
You'd still be you and  
I'd still need to say goodbye**

"Bye Jess." Those were her final words that night as she opened the door and walked out into the cold night air.

**Say goodbye… Say goodbye**

"Bye Rory." He said to no one after the door closed with a soft click.

**Say goodbye…**

**A/N: If you hate me, so sorry!!! Do not give up faith on Rory and Jess, though! Hope you liked! Thank you for the wonderful reviews!**


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